


Paper Hearts

by jane_x80



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Glitter, Holidays, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 04:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8831254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80
Summary: Tony DiNozzo is tasked to keep an 8-year-old girl whose mother just died occupied while the rest of the team continue investigating her death. Tony freaks the heck out, of course.
For Day 13 of the Happy Holiday Challenge on LJ





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is for [Day 13 of the Happy Holiday Challenge on LJ](http://ncis-discuss.livejournal.com/54808.html). The theme is "Sparkle/Glitter".
> 
> And this time there will be angst. I know the previous one was all fluffy.:D 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.

Anthony DiNozzo stood, his face frozen in shock after Gibbs had given him his orders. “You want me to do _what?_ ” he exclaimed.

Gibbs growled and gave him that look that said that if he had to repeat himself then DiNozzo was in serious trouble, but Tony ignored it.

“You _know_ I’m fucking horrible with children!” he hissed. “Kids are my kryptonite! Have you learned nothing about me in all the years that we’ve been working together?”

Gibbs gave him a baleful look. “I need McGee and Abby to continue doing that computer thingy that they’re doing, and Ziva is worse with children than you are. I have her running around town chasing a couple of leads so I don’t have to stop her from teaching this kid how to strangle a man with her pinky finger. I have to go MTAC. Ducky and Jimmy are performing an autopsy on the child’s mother, so that leaves you, DiNozzo.”

Tony threw up his hands. “But children _hate_ me, Boss!” he whined, panic lacing his voice.

Gibbs sighed. He grabbed Tony’s shoulders and waited until the younger man’s scared green eyes met his. “Don’t let her smell your fear, DiNozzo. Children are like animals. Put a mask on and pretend like you’re not afraid.”

Tony nodded, breathing hard and swallowing with difficulty.

“I don’t need any information out of the kid right now,” Gibbs said soothingly. “I just need you to sit with her and keep her occupied so she doesn’t have to think about having just lost her mom. Can you do that for me?”

Tony nodded, gulping audibly.

“You don’t have to try so hard with children,” Gibbs continued in that soothing voice, keeping his hands on Tony’s shoulders and calm eyes on Tony’s still-anxious ones. “Be yourself, be honest, and talk to her like she’s a real person.”

Tony breathed in and out, blowing out breaths as he forced his heart rate to slow. When he was breathing normally, Gibbs gave him a grin and pulled his hands off the younger man.

“You’ll be fine. Just remember that she’s just lost her mother. It’s probably an accident, but until Abby and McGee confirm that the car navigation systems weren’t tampered with, and Ducky tells me the autopsy results point to an accidental death, then we have to make sure this girl is safe with us and not with foster care or someplace we haven’t secured.”

Tony nodded, eyes still a little wild but looking calmer now.

“Good. Grace is down with Abby right now and you need to get her out of Forensics so she and McGee can do their thing. I don’t want Grace there in case they find something. We need to keep this poor kid away from the investigation, in case there is foul play. She should be told about it rather than finding it out when we do.”

Tony nodded again. That was reasonable. He could do that. Keep the kid occupied. Yeah. He could totally do that.

“You’ll do fine, DiNozzo,” Gibbs gave him an approving nod before he ran up the stairs to MTAC.

There was no way he could do this! Tony buried his face in his hands for a long moment and groaned before he pulled himself together, drawing himself to his full height and taking a few more deep breaths. Then he strode to the elevator and went down to Forensics.

When he walked in, Abby had Christmas carols going on her speakers, at a reasonable volume instead of the usual earsplitting shriek. Normal Christmas carols and not the ones that included heavy metal, loud drumming, or any words that would be inappropriate for young ears. It was a couple weeks till Christmas and her lab had already been decorated with wreaths, holly, candy canes and even mistletoe. Abby herself was flitting around, showing the lovely dark haired eight year old girl things on the computer in her office.

“Hey, Abs,” Tony said in a subdued voice.

“Tony!” Abby rushed over to hug him.

The dark haired girl looked up at Tony, her eyes wide and solemn.

“Grace, you remember Agent DiNozzo, right?” she prompted the girl. “He and Agent Gibbs drove you here?”

The girl nodded at him, “Hi Agent DiNozzo,” she said softly.

“You can call me Tony if you like,” Tony told her, keeping Gibbs’ words in mind. Don’t let her see his fear. Put a mask on. He could do that. “Abs, Gibbs wants you and McGee to do your thing.”

Abby nodded. “McGee’s ready and waiting over there,” she pointed and McGee waved to Tony, giving him a slight smile. “You gonna be OK with Grace, Tony?” Abby’s tone was gentle but her look piercing.

Tony nodded, hoping he wasn’t sweating too badly. “Yup. I have my orders.”

“That’s the spirit, soldier,” Abby grinned. “Just call me if you need help.”

Tony nodded.

“Why would Agent DiNozzo need help?” Grace asked.

Tony paled, but Abby smiled at the girl. “Sometimes even grown-ups need help with things, and we work as a team to solve our cases,” she said neutrally.

Grace nodded, accepting her answer.

“Ready?” Tony asked her, inclining his head towards the elevator.

The girl stood and shouldered her shocking pink backpack that was decorated with all kinds of sparkly things. Even more fuzzy things hung off of it in dizzying colors. Tony wasn’t quite sure what they all were but they all seemed to be heart-attack inducing to him. Unselfconsciously, she slipped her hand into his and they walked to the elevator. Tony turned to look back and saw both Abby and McGee give him fake smiles and thumbs ups.

They were expecting him to call for help, he thought. Well screw them. He’s faced serial killers, terrorists and all kinds of scum. No eight year old girl was going to be his downfall.

He took a deep breath and let it out as they waited, hand in hand, for the elevator. He took her up to the bullpen and stole Ziva’s chair for her to sit on next to him.

“Do you have work to do, Agent DiNozzo?” Grace asked.

“You should call me Tony,” Tony urged her again, “since we’ll be spending the afternoon together. Do you mind if I call you Grace, or would you prefer I call you Miss Malone?”

The girl giggled. “You can call me Grace, Tony,” she said magnanimously.

“Good,” Tony nodded. “What would you like to do now?”

Grace’s face fell. “I know you’ve told me that she’s dead, but I really wanted to see my mommy,” she finally said softly. “Agent Gibbs said I had to wait.”

Tony sighed. “I’m so sorry, Grace, but you’ll have to wait to see your mom,” he said quietly. “I know that right now it probably doesn’t even feel real to you, right?”

Grace shook her head, and tears filled her dark eyes.

Tony took her hand and held it. “My mother died when I was eight, too,” was the only thing he could think to say.

“Really?” Grace sniffed a little.

Tony nodded.

“Did it feel real to you…? You know? When it happened?”

Tony sighed. “Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real to me,” he admitted.

“How did it feel for you?”

Tony blew out a breath. “I remember being really sad and kind of upset but I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I couldn’t tell anyone how I felt. And it just didn’t feel real, not even after I saw her…” he broke off. Maybe he shouldn’t talk about his mother to a little girl who’d just lost hers?

“When did you finally get to see her?”

Tony sighed. Gibbs had said to be honest. He was going to give it a shot. “At the funeral,” he said, pursing his lips. It had been years since he’d pulled this set of painful memories out. “She had on her favorite dress, and she looked like she was sleeping in the coffin.”

“Oh,” Grace was silent for a moment. “Did she look like she was in pain or hurt in any way?”

Tony shook his head. “No. She looked peaceful,” he said, remembering her in her lovely green dress, which would have matched her green eyes except that her eyes were closed. She had had the same green eyes that he’d inherited. Her hair had been perfect and makeup done beautifully. She had been rail thin, but that was probably because of the cancer.

“You think my mommy will look peaceful too?” Grace whispered.

Tony squeezed her hand. “I know she will,” he assured her. “Ducky will make sure of it. He’s our ME.” Ducky had managed to make Kate look beautiful and at peace, instead of a bullet hole in her forehead and her brains splattered out the back. Ducky would definitely be able to make Petty Officer Malone look beautiful as well.

Grace nodded. She started pulling things out of her backpack – she had different colored construction paper, glue, scissors, notebooks. “How did your mother die, Tony?”

“She had cancer,” Tony answered.

“I’m sorry,” Grace said.

Tony smiled at her. “Me, too,” he agreed.

“So it was just you and your father after that?”

Tony snorted. “If you can call it that. He wasn’t really around even when my mom was alive and then he was around even less after she died. I ended up being sent to boarding school when I was twelve,” he told her, making a face.

“My dad’s not in the picture either,” Grace said. “But my Aunt Liz is coming to get me. She says I can go live with her now.”

“That’s good,” Tony smiled at her.

“Yeah. She’s really nice.”

Tony browsed through his emails while the girl pulled art supplies out of her backpack.

“Do you still miss your mom, Tony?” she asked.

Tony sighed and turned to her. “I miss her every day, Grace,” he answered honestly. His mother had been the only one who’d actually loved him, in her own way. And when she’d been sober, they had had some good times.

“So you don’t think I’ll ever forget my mommy, do you?” Grace’s eyes filled again.

Tony couldn’t help but pull her into a hug. “No,” he answered. “You won’t ever forget her. Sometimes I smell a perfume and I think my mom’s still here. Or I hear a piece of music. Or see hair the same color as hers on someone walking by. And when I look in the mirror, I have the same eyes that she had.”

“People tell me I look like my mom all the time,” Grace nodded, encouraged. “So I can look in the mirror and remember her, like you said.”

“Sometimes your memories will blur,” Tony told her. “But that’s OK. It isn’t you forgetting, not exactly. But you can’t be sad forever and the blurring is a way for you to be less sad.”

Grace nodded and blinked, tears spilling from her eyes. Tony wiped them away gently with his fingers. “Maybe we can talk about things that made your mom happy?” he suggested.

Grace smiled a little. “She liked hearts and stars and sparkly things. When we did artwork together, we always used lots and lots and lots of glitter!”

“You have any glitter on you?” Tony asked.

“Only like five different colors!”

“Why don’t we both make glittery things together, and maybe you can put yours in the coffin with your mom? So she can be buried with something that makes her happy?” Tony suggested.

“Yeah!”

So when Gibbs came back from MTAC, Tony’s suit jacket and tie were hanging off of the back of his chair and his dress shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbow. He and the girl were sitting on the floor behind his desk, talking softly and Gibbs was happy to hear the little girl giggle at Tony’s words every so often. Tony seemed to have found a groove with the girl. Rather than interrupt them, he waited out of sight, and peeked in on them.

“Don’t hog the green sparkles, Gracie,” Tony told her.

“I don’t know why you think hearts are green Tony,” Grace rolled her eyes in that way that only eight year old girls can.

“Hey, we said we were making things for our mothers. My mom was into green so I’m making her a green heart.”

“You’re a weirdo.”

“It’s sparkly. You said to make it sparkly,” Tony muttered.

Grace giggled. She held up her heart – Gibbs thought it was made of construction paper and cardboard. “Do you like mine?” she asked anxiously. It was bright pink and so covered in glitter that Gibbs was sure he was blinded by it even half a room away.

Tony nodded thoughtfully. “I think you missed a spot,” he told her.

“What? Where??” Grace stared at the heart.

Tony laughed. “Gotcha,” he told her. “That’s for calling me a weirdo.”

Grace giggled before she looked at her heart again. “You think my mom would like this?”

Gibbs watched as Tony put his arm around the girl’s shoulder and hugged her tightly. “She would’ve loved it,” he told her.

“I think your mom would love yours too,” Grace said loyally.

Tony snorted. “Yeah, would’ve been nice if someone had helped me make this for her when I was your age.”

“Did you get to put something of yours in your mother’s coffin to be buried with her?” Grace asked. “Something she would have loved?”

Tony swallowed and shook his head. “I wasn’t allowed to,” he said hoarsely. “I was told that it wasn’t the proper thing to do.”

“Is it wrong for me to have my heart buried with my mommy?”

“Nah,” Tony said easily. “I think my dad just wanted everything to be perfect for him that he didn’t really think about what I would have wanted, too.”

Grace nodded, biting her lip. Gibbs watched as the girl threw her arms around Tony and hugged him, leaving swathes of glitter and glue all over his expensive designer dress shirt. Tony hugged her back, completely unmindful of the mess of shiny glitter that he was becoming.

“You want to give me your green heart and I’ll put it in my mom’s coffin? Maybe we can ask my mom to talk to your mom about it in heaven?” Grace asked.

“That’d be really nice, Grace,” Tony sounded a little choked up and Gibbs found his eyes heating up as well. “Thank you.”

“Let’s take a picture first.”

“Selfie?” Tony suggested.

Gibbs watched as the little girl arranged herself in Tony’s lap and they both held their glittery paper hearts up – hers pink and red, and Tony’s was green – and Tony took several pictures of them with his phone. They scrolled through and discussed their favorite photos and their favorite parts of each other’s paper hearts for a few minutes.

“Will you send those pictures to my Aunt Liz for me?”

Tony nodded. They sat and blew on their hearts to make sure it was all dry and Gibbs walked into the bullpen. He nodded to Tony and to Grace and sat at his desk.

Later that afternoon, it was confirmed that Petty Officer Georgia Malone had died in a car accident, and that there had been no foul play. When her sister came to claim Grace, the little girl had clung to Tony and wept, Tony holding her shuddering body and whispering soft words into her ear, and smoothing her hair. When she was finally done, he helped her blow her nose and wipe her face on his handkerchief, and he told her to take it with her.

Grace left, holding her Aunt Liz’s hand tightly, and clasping the glittery red and green hearts in her other hand.

Tony was drained and sat quietly at his desk, ignoring Ziva and McGee. He was sure they were making fun of him, and of the glitter on his clothes and his floor, but he really didn’t give a shit. When Gibbs dismissed them, he waited for his junior teammates to leave first before he started packing his stuff.

“Cowboy steaks at my place?” Gibbs asked him.

“I just want to get some sleep,” Tony told him without looking at him.

Gibbs put a hand on his shoulder, and when Tony looked up at him, his green eyes sad, Gibbs put a gentle palm on his cheek, thumb brushing residual glitter off of it. “You had a rough day, DiNozzo,” he said softly. “Let me take care of you tonight, like you took care of that little girl.”

Tony’s eyes filled with hot tears, making them sparkle and shine.

“You helped her by sharing with her your own loss,” Gibbs continued. “You gave her what someone should have given you when you were her age. Someone to talk to.”

Tony sniffed and blinked, swiping roughly at his eyes. “It’ll be tough on her. First Christmas without her mom.”

Gibbs nodded. “She’ll make it ok. Her aunt seems to be good people.”

Tony grunted an agreement. “I don’t want to talk to another kid for at least a couple of years,” he grumbled.

“Fair enough,” Gibbs agreed.

“Good.”

“You going to Malone’s funeral?” Gibbs asked carefully.

“Grace asked me to come,” Tony said. “So yeah.”

Gibbs grunted, knowing that would be another difficult day for Tony. “Come home with me,” he tried again.

Tony nodded, too tired to object.

When they were in the elevator together, Gibbs put his arm around Tony and pulled him into a one-armed hug, pulling his head onto his shoulder, ruffling his hair and kissing his temple. “You did good today, DiNozzo,” he said softly.

“Thanks, Boss,” Tony said, smiling shyly as he straightened up. He stared at Gibbs’ lips and smiled.

“What?” Gibbs asked him, arm still around Tony.

“Uh, I think you might have gotten some glitter on your lips there,” Tony pointed, almost touching Gibbs’ lower lip with his index finger, but pulling it back quickly. The glitter had most definitely come from somewhere on Tony. Maybe even from his head where Gibbs had kissed him. And holy shit! Gibbs kissed him! In the temple so it’s not like a full on smooch, but Gibbs was usually all about the head slaps and more violent expressions of affection rather than hugs and kisses. He just really wasn’t a hugs and kisses sort of guy.

“You’re one to talk,” Gibbs told him. “You have glitter everywhere.”

Tony looked at his hands and his shirt and shrugged. “Petty Officer Malone loved glitter,” he said staunchly.

Gibbs smiled. “I like glitter, too.” He turned and tenderly swiped the excess glitter off of Tony’s cheekbones. “It’s a good look for you.”

Tony’s eyes widened and he stared at Gibbs, trying to understand the new sparkle in Gibbs’ blue eyes. Gibbs smile widened as he leaned closer and pressed his lips against Tony’s gently. Tony stiffened in surprise for a split second before he closed his eyes and began kissing Gibbs back. Turns out that glitter was a good look for Gibbs, too.


End file.
